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Losing my voice - finding my vision

I've written this post 100 times in my head. Maybe more. Bringing myself to sit down and write it...well...that's been another story. But, I'm a storyteller, so I'll give it a shot. I am not embarassed to say, I'm weeping - again - as I type this morning from one of my favorite places in Nashville (another story for another day).

This story, it's a story of walking down a road and finding that divergence and stopping as in life I always want both paths, never wanting to go right or left. It's a story of profound grief that just doesn't seem to end, but now that the worst of winter is behind us and we are once again seeing the rays of the sun, it doesn't grip me as it did during the last few weeks of overcast skies and rainy days.

I began my business in the fall of 2015 and my direction was to become THE digital storyteller for the modern day mystic. Something inside of me, however, could not let go of the idea of continuing to offer space healing and move myself into the path of the mystical teacher. I don't know if it was ego or really just finding completion to a path once started that I needed to explore to be able to close that door. As is usual with me, it was most likely a little of both.

2016 moved along and I did okay...but didn't see the traction I wanted and in January of 2017, was given the guidance through intuition, lots of prayer and manifestation work that I really needed to focus on coaching both in business and for clients in their personal lives. In other words, keep on the original path and finally let go of my feng shui, organizing, space clearing. They are amazing tools and I am so grateful. In fact, they allow me to have additional tools when working with my business clients as all of that amazing training gives me a unique lens in which to view my work.

Then, calamity strikes. When my father became "ill" - I use that term loosely as illness was thrust upon him by his doctors, my work became a constant push pull of keeping my head above water to not lose my clients, while working with my sisters to care for this King among men. After his passing, there were decisions to be made, attorneys, childhood memories packed away in boxes and displayed on shelves to be dealt with.

I tried in earnest to blog and to get back on the horse of FB Live and my You Tube videos. A brave face was made for Instagram posts that decreased dramatically.  Over the months after his death, my silence grew until January when I looked at my beloved husband and whispered, "I've lost my voice."

It was as if the dam broke and over the last few weeks I have come to a place of peace with the silence and instead of wanting to run from it, but have sat and listened to it and to myself and to that intuition that was blocked the last few months as I wallowed in my pain and anger.

Emerging like the daffodils that dot Nashville's landscape, I am shaking off the cold and finding my way to the sun.

From the silence has arisen a vision. As I worked on my vision for 2018, I took a hard look at what the bulk of my 2017 business held. Who called me? What services did they want? What items were they willing to pay for? Though I had odds and end calls for space healing, it was my ability to tell stories, bring their visions to life digitally and in print, organize their business tools like email and calendars, that made them pick up the phone.

So, here I am. Embracing what my biggest cheerleader, my husband, has been telling me for 3 years (not in an "I told you so" kind of way"). Consulting, coaching, visioning. This is me. This is what I do. Serving my clients in this way to bring their vision to life to allow them to bring their visionary services to the world. I am the digital storyteller for the modern day mystic. I am a business coach to the awakened human.

A good blogger would probably leave you with a cute image of herself. You can check out my Instagram for that! I'm leaving you with the most inspirational song of 2017 that plays in our home nearly every day. This Is Me!


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